| A quick entry, before I dash off to lunch (/breakfast... I need to stop doing that):
Every part of me hurts on fire
I wish I didn't care for you still.
but your taunting smile, your lack of need
it hurts me.
I just want to be in your arms again,
to go back to the way things were - six months ago - maybe more -
when we were so in love it seemed the stars were dancing for us
But now, it changes,
-things always change -
You cannot
I should not
and so this pain reaches into my throat, coating my insides with vile emotion
Sometimes, this world seems to pointless without you
I must push myself to carry on, despite every nerve ending inside me wanting to stop
I must tell myself it'll be okay, despite how hard I find that to believe
Tomorrow's a new day
Day after day
Life continues, undaunted
but god
what I would give
to just curl into a ball
and not
feel
not
be
not
have to do
a
n
y
t
h
i
n
g
just for a while.
Heartbreak, it turns out,
ain't so easy.
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| learning to love it
learning to leave it
behind
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| breathe in, breathe out
breath in, breath out
it'll all be okay.
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| For the sake of whatever-whatever, let's just call it 'bittersweet.'
Ah, yes. That seems to be the word of the hour. Appropriate, too.
I miss you, love.
I think in a way, I always will.
But I suppose - that is, I know - that this is for the best
and that we will both be better in the end.
You know this too, but
you also know, as I do, how much it hurts
How badly it stings to be apart
And just how much I constantly long for your arms
But - and as always - this'll pass
Time carries on
I'll be okay,
you'll be okay,
and perhaps - someday-
(in fact, I think I may just know that)
we will meet again.
My love,
my love,
goodbye.
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| So Matt and I talked tonight.
That was interesting - to say the least.
Cliched words, but alas, so appropriate.
What began in awkward banter ended in tears and kisses,
unhappy confessions,
and a wish for things to be different on both ends.
Yet we both understand
we both get it:
not right here.
Not right now.
'Someday,' we whispered
'someday,' we crooned
'someday' we moaned
'someday it can be.'
And perhaps it can.
No -- I know it can. I just know.
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